


Quiet Words, Distant Eyes

by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)



Series: Holly's Round Eight H/C Bingo Card [33]
Category: Rent - Larson
Genre: Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-25 22:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12542380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice
Summary: "I'm sorry."It always starts that way. Quiet words and distant eyes and she doesn't like seeing them hurting like that.Angel watches her friends from beyond the grave.





	Quiet Words, Distant Eyes

"I'm sorry."

It always starts that way. Quiet words and distant eyes and she doesn't like seeing them hurting like that. She doesn't like it, and yet she understands. Understands in a soul-deep way that aches and aches and aches. She doesn't like it because she always thought the afterlife was supposed to be better than being alive. (And it is, in so many ways it is, freed as she is from the pain and the fear and the sickness from her feeble body, and yet, _and yet_.)

"I'm sorry."

Joanne's words are always quiet when she comes, her hands still but her stature strong and tall, her focus straight ahead as she looks to the future, looks to the potential to change the world. She always had more strength than anyone ever gave her credit for, a resilience and a certainty that always pushed her forward, never held her back, even from—

"I'm sorry."

Maureen's eyes are always distant when she comes, like she can't bear to look at the truth and the reality of death. Always so strong-willed, always seeing the big picture without being able to connect with the minutiae. And she knows that's who Maureen was, knows that's always where she stood, even, allegedly, when she was with—

"I'm sorry."

Mark's words are always quiet when he speaks them. She's certain he's seeing where Roger will be eventually, certain he's seeing Mimi and (she skips his name; she can't, she _can't_ ) and so many more, so many many more. She doesn't blame him, knows there's too much pain and misery in the world to ignore, and yet she doesn't want him to look away from the joy, look away from—

"I'm sorry."

Roger's eyes are always distant when he stands beside her, looking toward something she's not sure even he can see. There's a distance in his eyes, but there's a storm and a fire there too, a drive to live and thrive the way he didn't when she was still alive. A need to persevere and exist and _live_ for—

"I'm sorry."

Mimi's words are always quiet when she comes, hidden behind tears and guilty smiles. She's the happiest of the lot, the one that understands the best, and yet she still doesn't understand, doesn't see the full breadth and depth, but that's okay because she's trying, she's _trying_ and sometimes that's all she can ask, especially of—

"I'm sorry."

His eyes are always distant and his words are always quiet and it aches and aches and aches and she doesn't like it, doesn't like seeing him this way, doesn't like seeing him hurt even as he goes on existing and living and surviving even when she knows sometimes it hurts him to even breathe and she doesn't want to see him like this, doesn't want to be the source of such pain, and yet she is, she _is_ and is it ever going to stop because—

——

_"I'm sorry."_

_Her eyes are always present and her words are always loud but it's never enough, Collins never hears her, and Angel aches and aches and aches for the life they could have had._

_It's never enough._

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'ed. Part of my Round Eight H/C Bingo Card. [Come hang with me on tumblr!](http://hollyandvice.tumblr.com/)


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